okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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