nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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