It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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