Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
