I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
