this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
