My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
