I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
