so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
