At least make sure they are 18
Why
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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