Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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