I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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