So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
