well I can't set my house on fire every night
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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