Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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