If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
