He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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