Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
