im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
