So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
