She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
