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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning

  (410): View more from Maryland

  how does that even happen??

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

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• (805): View more from California

  My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult

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• (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure

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• (914): View more from New York

  Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...

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• (518): View more from New York

  well that was a fail

  (1-518): View more from New York

  maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra

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