You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
