Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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