i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
