please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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