We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
