she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
