We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
