Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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