Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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