I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
