i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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