Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
