Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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