I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That's how pantless uber rides happen
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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