I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
