I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
