so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
