Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
