Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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