So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
