My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
