Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
