I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
