32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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