Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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