May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
