tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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