I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
